it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize