Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well I just put wine in my tea
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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