The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
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I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
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all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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