So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize