were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize