I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize