roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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