this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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