Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
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Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
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I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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