So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize