sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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