Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i love accidental penises.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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