No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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