I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize