I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize