So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
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I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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