She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize