can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize