I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize