Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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