My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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