Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
All I want is dick and wine.
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