So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize