I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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