i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
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It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
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I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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