Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize