you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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