Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
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I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
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Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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