I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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