Who wears a wallet chain?!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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