it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
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With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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