i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Houston, we have a blender
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
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