Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize