Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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