i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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