My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I woke up under a house in Key West
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