talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My ass is underappreciated
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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