First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
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we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
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Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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