It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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