My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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