I only kidnapped one of them. chill
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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