i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize