She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize