Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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