we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize