xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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