I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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