You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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