I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
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In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
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He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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