u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize